Yes, yes, of course I want to do the usual--travel, buy stuff without having to think twice or even look at the price tag, regularly visit spas, have topless jean-clad smiling man-slaves doing my dishes... (that last one is a whole other story in itself.)
But...tailored shoes. Now that is something worth dreaming about. To have shoes--heels, to be exact--that fit my feet perfectly? Wow. It takes me breath away. Makes me feel a touch dizzy with impending joy, really.
See, my feet aren't the usual pretty, slim hooha. Length-wise, they're a size 4. Tiny tiny little freaks of nature, even for someone of my piddling 5 foot 1 height. But (there's always a but) they're wider than is normal--when I buy heels, I need to buy them in size 5 because the fronts are just too narrow. That is just something I have to do. To get a pair of shoes that fit, I have to settle for the shoe to be a little too long for me feet. [As an aside, allow me to point out that my body is also similarly disfigured: I can almost never get jeans that fit me juuuust right. They're always too tight around my thighs/butt when they fit my waist; too loose when they fit my thighs. I'm freaking Goldilocks who never finds her perfect porridge. Story of my life. On a Good Self Esteem day I tell myself it's because I have a fantastic nipped-in waist; on Bad Self Esteem days, it's definitely because I have birthing hips. So anyway, I usually make do by buying the ones that fit my thighs, then whisk the jeans off to my trusty tailor, who takes in the waistline of the garment. ] Admittedly, that doesn't pose too much of a problem finding shoes (just look at my shoe rack). But, like most things in (my) life, they could stand to be a liiiittle closer to perfect. So I intend to one day, be able to afford a SHOE tailor. Only instead of shortening the length of a pair of store-bought shoes, this tailor dude (or dudette) will make the shoes for me from scratch. (Seriously, the thought is such a turn-on). Because we all know that you can't shorten the length of a high heel shoe without throwing the aesthetics completely out of whack. Which would then prompt thoughts like "What's the point?" Like, duh.
My shoe tailor would totally make me shoes that are of the perfect length, perfect width, and have heels which are never higher than 3 inches.
I need to explain my three-inch heel theory, don't I? Well listen, and listen carefully, because some of the people who have been privy to this theory have made faces of complete befuddlement. What can I say, either they're not maths people, or they just couldn't deal with genius when they saw it...I probably should have it copyrighted, it is that good.
Ahem. So ok. I have basically linked the Pithagores Theorem to my heel theory. The longer your foot, the higher the heel you should be able to teeter around in. Think about it:
Okay, let me use my size 4 feet/size 5 shoes as an example. Due to my foot length (sadness and sorrow) my puny feet cannot deal with anything higher than 3 inches. I wouldn't be able to stand in say, 4 inch heels, much less teeter stylishly in them.
Obviously, the very similar numbers (size 4 base, 3 inch height) should not be regarded as gospel or anything, because they are not in the same units--basic maths sense. I really doubt that everyone can calculate their Comfortable Heel Height based on the theorem. This is not like mathematician-proven, people! You'd have to consider every person's pain threshold--we're all different. But you gotta admit it makes a lot of sense. All I'm saying is that if there is less foot to go over the hypothenuse slope-y bit, then naturally, due to physical shortcomings, it would limit heel height possibilities. Like, I would be able to wear gloriously high heels if I had bigger feet. Yes? No?
...I am so not a freak.
