Admit it. There are double standards in today's world re: Men vs Women. While I'm highly appreciative of women's rights and thankful for what we enjoy today (thanks to the efforts of brave women before us), I couldn't be further away from being a bra-burning feminist. I fully believe that--except for some very rare specimens of people--both the sexes have an ever-changing interpretion of the concept of "equality" which is dependent on the situation. For example, a woman may be perfectly happy to use her femininity to get what she wants, but she'll use the Is It Because I'm a Woman? card if she doesn't get a promotion at work. Another example: a man may be happy to let his woman foot the bill on occassion (in the name of equality), but he'll have a hell of a time accepting that she is more financially successful than he is.
I too am guilty of this, although probably not as bad. It's not like I use my looks to get what I want--pfft, there isn't much to use! I admit it: I take advantage of the double standards, but in little, harmless ways. I just... turn on the charm. And smile. And most times, it works. (Strangely, it generally works only when I'm alone or with other women.) To be honest? Half the time, I wasn't even angling for anything--men are just NICER to women, plain and simple. Sometimes, when the person who has "power" is male, the chances of a woman getting special treatment is higher.
I know it sounds suspicious: that I say I take advantage but not in an unethical way. Let me explain and prove it with some examples.
At restaurants or other eateries, I'm really polite and undemanding. Truth be told, sometimes I crank up the charm with waiters or chefs. Think about it. This contrasts greatly with the usual type of customers who don't even acknowledge their presence. So I get service with a smile, and my order prepared with more care. And sometimes complimentary food/drinks/dessert (I swear on my favourite shoes: this last one is never on my agenda when I make nice).
[Ooh. I just remembered. Last week, I went to a Japanese restaurant for a lunch buffet. All the mothers/housewives there were elbowing me out of the way (I was afraid, so afraid) so I just stood aside. The guy frying the tempura--whom I'd smiled at earlier--noticed what happened and when the ladies left (leaving nothing behind), he grinned at me and asked me if he could make me some prawn tempura. I thanked him (very prettily, if I do say so myself) and he made them for me on the spot. And the funny thing is? When other customers started sniffing around again, he fished the prawns out of the pan, dumped them on a plate and gave them all to me.]
When buying stuff/shopping, male attendants smile at you more, pay attention more, and serve you quicker.
Another example: when I was holidaying in Redang Island, I made it a point to say hi or smile to the staff. After the first day, they began to recognise me (and my friend), and the result? We got to go snorkelling at the locals' secret spots off the normal course, free snooker games until the day we left, dive instructors who showed us around personally, and great conversation. My friend was duly impressed: "Boy, did your smile get us places!"
I really don't see how this is wrong, because it's perfectly symbiotic. You get taken care of, the receipient feels nice because his job is a tiny bit less shitty, and you both have fun. No one is leading anyone on, no improper flirting, no unspoken promises alluded to--I don't do that sort of thing. However, to be perfectly honest, I realise that this state of affairs exists for me largely because I'm young and I don't look like a truck hit my face. I doubt I'd get similar effects if I did this as a middle-aged woman. Unless I was a HOT middle aged woman. Or a weeping one.
Face it. I like men, and I like being a (young) woman. I plan on enjoying the perks that come with my gender and my youth, at least until the latter runs out. There is nothing wrong with that--it's not like I'm doing anything immoral or underhanded.
I may be a complete throwback who's getting in the way of achieving true equality, but there are reasons for my satisfaction with the current state of affairs. The retention of values like chivalry and gentlemanliness are wonderful, and I wouldn't want them to ever die out. In my opinion, total equality is overrated, and it would be boring as hell.
